300 Million Dollars
A thought experiment in more money then me and everyone I know will ever make.
Erling Haaland is very, very good at the soccer. He is so good at the soccer, in fact, that Christian Vieri thinks he might be worth 300 million dollars. Or Euros. Whatever. You know what I mean.
ā¬300 million isā¦ well, that much money funds small industries. It is more money than me or anyone I know will ever possess in their lives, more money than I could possibly count in my lifetime, if I were to start right now. At least, I think. Iām pretty sure. Will someone pay ā¬300 million for Haaland? That, Iām not so sure of.
Iām sure there will be a player that will be sold for a transfer fee exceeding ā¬300 million. Itās certainly coming. Neymar still holds the transfer record at ā¬222 million, far outstripping the ā¬145 million fees paid for Kylian Mbappe and Coutinho. Yes, Coutinho. That name is how I know that someone will pay ā¬300 million for a player. Neymar spent a considerable amount of time as the bona fide 3rd best player on the planet, and for a while looked like he might one day take the top spot. Mbappe is one transfer away from challenging the Messi-Ronaldo hegemony, because letās face it, he wonāt get the accolades in Paris because he wonāt win anything outside of Ligue 1 with Paris, and he might as well be winning the Allsvenskan when it comes to how much Ligue 1 matters to Ballon dāOr voters. Coutinho? Coutinho is good. Maybe even great, on his day. But the fact that Coutinho is tied for the second-most expensive player ever tells me that transfer fees are itching to break records once again. Because he just simply isnāt in the same class as those other two, and yet, there he is.
The player market, virus be damned, will return, in all its chaos. And while it might cause some sort of momentary collapse, it will also bring out the vultures, big clubs taking advantage of smaller ones desperate for cash who arenāt in a position to negotiate. The next year will see plenty of bargains. Borussia Dortmund, however, arenāt one of those clubs whoāll negotiate from a place of weakness, and they certainly arenāt ones to rush a transfer. Or be paid very well, for that matter. And Haaland is as conspicuous a prospect as they come: a 6ā4ā, 19-year-old striker that waltzed into the Bundesliga and proceeded to score goals whenever he pleased.
But what of that reported release clause? Itās cheap, sort of stunningly cheap, considering Dortmund wrung over 100 million out of Barcelona for Ousmane Dembele. The clause, if it exists, seems to only be activated after this summerās window, and that little fact is the only reason I think Haaland could touch ā¬300 million. Want to get your hands on a teenager who seems to thrive wherever you put him, and to whom level does not seem to be any issue or object? Pay for him now, before his value plummets to ā¬75 million, and anyone can afford him. Seriously, if youāre Real Madrid, or Barcelona, or Manchester City, you want people like Tottenham all of a sudden entering the Haaland sweepstakes? Or the state of Saudi Arabia trying to make Newcastle happen? Pay for him now.
This is, however, also the reason that I donāt think Haaland is the first ā¬300 million player. It is just slightly too soon, too immediate, for that magic 300 number to flash up there, and I donāt think the monster clubs will have the conojes or the Financial Fair Play Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free cards to play for him this summer. And whoever signs him next, presumably at a much cheaper rate next winter or summer, will not give him any sort of release clause or contract length that sees him leaving his next destination for two years, and by that time, I think itāll be too late. Someone else will want to join the best teams in the world (cough Mbappe cough), and some club president will hit the big red button. Imaginary amounts of cash will flow from one club to another. And the wheel shall turn again. Haaland might still be worth 300 mil one day. He simply exists in a strange instance of time where being the first to such a number, while still unbelievable, seems to be possible.
That is, if all these big clubs manage to keep up on all their payment installments for old transfers without ticket revenue, and all that jazz. Funny how you have all the money in the world until you donāt have any at all.
Hereās One of My Favorite Videos
Itās of a bunch of now-legendary French defenders talking about how it was impossible to defend Ronaldo.
France would, of course, beat Brazil and win the ā98 World Cup, but they would NOT have if Ronaldo hadnāt been WHATEVER type of sick he was during that final.
Trivia
What player holds the record for most goals scored by a goalkeeper? Important note: this is not a player who played goalie one time because their team ran out of subs or goalkeepers to sub in. This person was an actual goalkeeper.
Answer to yesterdayās trivia: Turkey scored 5 of the 8 goals they scored in Euro 2008 in the last ten minutes of their matches, including the heart-stopping finish to extra time in the quarterfinals against Croatia, where they conceded a goal in the 119th minute, only to tie the game again in the 122nd minute, and then win on penalties. Hereās video of that game, because itās quite possibly one of the greatest international soccer moments ever.